I don’t. 

I am frustrated with the art, not as much with the materials and the processes but with the fucking rolling deadlines.  I hate how stuff comes out when there’s a single day of planning (~3 hours or less,) a single day of refinement (again, ~3 hours) and about 12 hours of work time to try to pull something together.  I feel like I can’t even get comfortable with the materials or the concept because I have to work and have responsibilities outside of school.  Worse yet, the instructors are no help, as they fail to realize that they live and work on a schedule that is about 8 hours later than mine, so I have to anticipate what they may say.  God forbid I have to wait for them, because it turns into a last minute wrap up and turn in.

The relentless pace is killing me as well.  Every 5 weeks and 3 days I start a new class and have to buy a new text book and new materials.  Occasionally I get a stipend from my loans to cover this.  Usually not, though.  There is a break of about 3 weeks in the Winter and 2 in the Summer, but it doesn’t really make up for the constant pounding of the rest of the schedule.

I have projects I want to get done, and things I want to try with the stuff I am learning, but by the time I get that freedom, I feel like the last thing I want to do is deal with the frustration of the Art.  I am rapidly approaching my bullshit tolerance.  I feel like I can’t get anything made for a decent portfolio because I am working on such a shitty schedule and my skills are such that I am unable to actually turn anything worthwhile out of the classwork.  It’s a feeling of constantly producing shit work, which makes me feel even less capable and leads to making more shit work.

Today, I decided to issue a demand on everyone I communicate with:  MAKE SOMETHING.

In the next 12 months, create 20 -32 pages of printed material (OR MORE) and publish it as a work.  If that doesn’t work for you, Make 12 T shirt designs or 12 coffee cup designs. 

CREATE.

If you are feeling bereft of a connection to the Universe, nurture and coax something out of your mind and offer it up for others to enjoy.  If you feel like there’s nothing out there that fits what you are looking for, make it.  Have fun doing it, make it a silly project, make a serious project, JUST MAKE.

CONNECT.

You may ask, “But Hank, I would need a Publisher or a contact to do this.  I am not good enough to get someone to pay me up front for my work.”  Nonsense.  Here are several ways to get your creation out there.  (There are MANY MANY MORE as well.)

Mag Cloud:  Full Color Magazines: http://sn.im/t6pw8
Amazon.com: World Wide Distribution:http://sn.im/t6px2
LuLu: Drag and Drop publishing: http://sn.im/t6pxg
CafePress:  All Sorts of Stuff: http://sn.im/t6wkb
Zazzle:  Still More Stuff: http://sn.im/t6wl7
Skreened: Ethically Made Clothing: http://sn.im/t6wm9
Deviant Art: Prints and Stuff!!! http://sn.im/t6wnl

If you are wondering if it takes tons of skill to make your own book, let Ariana straighten you out.

This is about YOU making things and putting them out there for people you know (and don’t know yet,) and participating in HOLY ACT OF CREATION.

As Gordon Olmstead-Dean has pointed out, Intercon Mid-Atlantic has transformed from a venue to develop innovative and unusual LARP into something of an albatross that has waned in its attendance and community support.  What would it take to create a sustainable venue that meets its obligations while being responsive to the community it serves? 

1.       Remove the focus on one organizer.   By placing the leadership and financial focus on one person or a small group of closely interconnected people, the project will tank if the cost of time or money become too great for that organizer to maintain.  By having responsible individuals in an organized structure (Nonprofit or for profit business structure to insulate individuals from losses and the project from “taking my toys and quitting” behaviors,) the project is thrust into a many hands make light work situation.  The kudos for a good event is borne by this group but also the blame for a disaster as well.  The focus should *not* be on profit taking, but on creating art and ‘art byproducts’.

2.       Buy in, buy in, buy in.  By stating it three times I am emphasizing that the buy in has to come at three different levels.  Initially the project organization will need start up money, for incorporation, insurance, and the first two to three events.  The first buy in is by the individuals running the project.  As such, they receive shares to the project and some oversight capabilities, and the duty to protect their investment.  The second level of buy in is that the content providers buy into the event at a minimal fee to help cover the following: housing, run space, and other items such as event insurance, and when possible food and goodies.  This could be a yearly membership fee in the concept of a co-op in that they pay once and run at your events (note the plural) for that fee for the year.  This is not to say that they bear the weight of the cost of the event, but that they offset some of the cost for their participation.  If they can push registrations to the event with a SOLID number of referrals who actually pay, this buy in is offset and ignored, due to the fact that they just brought 20 door fees to you for little to no work.  It also creates an environment of bringing quality work to the event as they are investing their funds into the creation of their event and no one wants to waste money.  The last buy in is for the consumer of the project/event.  You have two ways you can generate this funding: admission fees and patron memberships. Your admission fees are buy in for a particular event or series of events and are should eventually be your bread and butter.  Patron Memberships are purchased by supporters who are unwilling or unable to make the larger commitment of sharing in the project’s operation but believe in the mission.  These are the people you need to acknowledge and freely thank early and often.  If they are at your event and they are amenable to it (some aren’t,) thank them at the end or another appropriate time.  Give them the free T-shirts or swag that you use for in house sales. Take care of them; hold a special event for them once a year that recognizes their contributions.  To wit, money is what makes the event possible.  Money is the elephant in the corner that no one likes to talk about; in this context it is ABSOLUTELY NECESSARY to acknowledge.  We are all grownups, and it is time to start treating our hobbies like we are.  If you want to shuffle your feet and pout in the corner about how LARP should be free, go somewhere else, I don’t care.  Like it or not, all art requires funding of some kind; LARP requires more than most, since it is designed to interact with you in a meaningful way.  I am past the age where PB&J, ramen, and pizza are acceptable fare to sustain myself and I bet most of the people who read this are of the same bent.

3.       Interact with other communities and events.  The project should endeavor to build contacts with other groups; attend some of the events in the region that LARPers don’t normally deal with directly.   Anime cons, comic cons, and other events are all good places to buy a spot in the program or see if you can drop off fliers.  Run LARP if they have that capability, bring things that are fun and inclusive and not filled with regional in-jokes and Byzantine LARP crap.  Help with other LARPs in your region and try to foster good will.  Participate. It won’t always be easy, but it will pay off.  Ponder the inclusion of those communities into your event to offset costs.  Sometimes a cheap joint venture appeals to the folks who are looking for a second event without the planning overhead associated with a full convention or event.  You may not pull the general public, but you will get exposure among people who are at least open to different experiences.

4.       Have a plan.  A business plan is a must.  Other things including the ability to say no, stay within the budget, and a strong leadership who can make firm decisions while being responsible for their success or failure are also vital to making this work.  Who will you deal with the invested people who want to leave?  How will you maintain the organization when the inevitable schism occurs?  This and more has to be codified at the outset and hardwired into the organization. 

This is just a few of my off the top of my head thoughts about what could come after IMA, or how to ‘fix’ it.  I think that NEIL has done a fine job for their convention, and that their structure works well for the location and audience that they have.  IMA has been a different animal with greater overhead and lower payoff to the organizers and needs a mercy killing or an evolutionary step to better serve the people associated with it.  I spent a lot of time on money stuff, mainly because of the aforementioned overhead that mid-Atlantic conventions bear when trying to be within a decent distance of a major transportation hub and in a facility that isn’t a roach motel.  It may be that an organization like the one I propose would have to begin as 30 people running and playing 4 hour games in a community center on a Saturday and Sunday, crashing at friends’ homes; but it is better than being on an untenable path of one person or couple being slowly ground down over a number of years supporting an event until they burn out or lose their assets trying to prop up a second priority event.

Every class we have our first assignment be “write your autobiography” which is an easy first day thing.  However it happens every 5 weeks and I have better things to do than recount some biblical like progression of begats and what I do in my freetime.  I thought I had written a fairly generic but informative canned bio, as written below.

Henry “Hank” Kuhfeldt
Hank Kuhfeldt is a Michigan native transplanted to the Mid-Atlantic region that developed a hunger for learning at a fairly young age. This does not mean he had stellar grades but was always curious and willing to learn. He can be said to have many preferred subjects in which he delights in chasing down obscure references and discussing in factual and hypothetical contexts. These subjects tend to lie toward practical philosophy, history, and the Western Hermetic Mysteries. His love of learning has led him to many different sets of skills, from information technology to logging and land management. He enjoys a challenge and feels that there really is little he cannot learn to do at least an average skill level. (Everyone has limitations.)
Hank’s first brush with the visual arts was growing up as a child of a photographer. He got his first camera at 10 and has had one ever since. In some ways he loathes the death of film and darkroom in photography, only because it was skill based work and required knowledge and patience to make it work. Later, he studied printing and pre-press production as a high school elective. There he excelled and created his own final exam, which while advised against it, completed successfully and received top marks for. Once computer technology became more affordable and the internet was prevalent, he graduated to building websites and designing graphics for them. In 2008 he returned to school with the goal of acquiring a degree in design in order to pursue a career that was creative and challenging.
Hank is not, however, all work and no play. He enjoys activities such as swimming, exploring new places and playing games. He is active in his fraternal order’s lodge government and writes interactive theatre/LARP on occasion.
Hank currently lives in Northern Virginia, minutes away from Washington, DC with his domestic partner their dogs, cat and corn snake.

Apparently, I forgot about the Fundies who need to make EVERYTHING about proselytizing (and themselves!)

Hey Henry, I was went down the path of mysticism, I ended up in Jail though, praise God. It saved me from making many spiritual mistakes, Mysticism is intriguing because it gives the weak the feel of strength and it is a great tool for mass deception.

It is interesting that you use to due logging since our text(Atlas of Human Anatomy), refers to men much like logs, which is symmetrical to the philosophy of Kabala and other mystery religions. Due you homework, and tell me what you get from this. I have the light and am not afraid to share it , in Jesus name.

Hm.  Well, if you would like to open that can of worms…  I mean he went to WIKIPEDIA for crying out loud!  He must mean Business!

You could place me in the general category of ’spiritual humanism’, or Classical Gnosticism. I have spent enough time amongst the different spiritual practices of the world to feel that without dogma, they would perform their functions much better. As far as Freemasonry goes, it is a spiritual fraternal order that actually leaves the individual spirituality to be the responsibility of the individual and their community, which is as it should be.

I find truth to be an unwise word to use in matters of spirituality and emotion, mainly because it implies everything else is a lie and not just the truth as someone else knows it. It discounts the personal knowledge and growth of the individual on a spiritual level as well as those who we could learn from.

So far there has been no reply.

Do What thou Wilt Shall be the Whole of the Law,

“A feast for fire and a feast for water, a feast for life and a greater feast for death!” -Liber Al, ch 2, 41

“Aye! feast! rejoice! there is no dread hereafter.  There is the dissolution and eternal ecstasy in the kisses of Nu.”  -Liber Al. ch 2. 44

Today, we celebrate my maternal grandfather’s greater feast. 

I have many very vivid memories of my grandfather, who taught me a number of things including that you should use the right tool for the job or the job becomes harder and you still need the tool.

Or that with patience you can make some really beautiful things.

That isn’t to say he never got mad or never raised his voice, I think we shared a relatively short fuse that burns quickly, makes a lot of noise and then gets down to brass tacks and fixing the problem. 

He was the closest grandparent I had, and closer in a number of ways than my biological father, and he helped me and the rest of the family out probably a little more than he should have.  He cared a lot about his children and grandchildren.

He had a number of close calls over the last several weeks notably one when he went in the first time and I was at the Luau for William Blake Lodge.  I had to begin preparing myself for what would inevitably happen, though I would have  preferred it be years off instead of mere weeks.  He did get to say good bye to most of the family, and I think he knows he was loved very much.

When I think about his place in our lives on a family level, I immediately am drawn to the collect for the Sun from Liber XV, the Gnostic Mass:

“Lord visible and sensible of whom this earth is but a frozen spark turning about thee with annual and diurnal motion, source of light, source of life, let thy perpetual radiance hearten us to continual labour and enjoyment; so that as we are constant partakers of thy bounty we may in our particular orbit give out light and life, sustenance and joy to them that revolve about us without diminution of substance or effulgence for ever.”

I think that he WAS a good example of sharing the energy and bounty that he received, and that in turn he passed it on to his family and friends whenever he could. I think that his children and grandchildren strive to continue caring for one another and their chosen families as well which makes him far more potent than I think even could have been impressed upon him.  He reached a lot of people though his own life and the lives of his loved ones.
 
Much like the Sun, he had an air of permanence.  I never expected to have to write the words that I am expressing now.  Not because I felt that he was never going to die, just he wasn’t going  to do it until he was good and ready because there was work to do.  He was, in many ways that presence that you could look to when the night was just about over and you were shivering your way through the darkness and doubting you were going to make it.  You thought about him and suddenly the  dawn was creeping over the horizon, telling you to get a move on.

He was a product of his times.  He was at times trapped in the thinking of the past and I like to think that in some manner, he would have liked to been able to break that cycle of thinking, if he could just find the root.  But in his way, he helped break down the barriers of race and religion in his offspring and their offspring and many of his grandchildren are astonishingly colorblind and accepting.  He helped me realized that even though he wasn’t ready for it, that color is something on your clothes, not in your heart.  I think it made me accept the third line of the Book of the Law  without hesitation as one of those universal statements that cannot be denied.

“Every man and every woman is a star“  -Liber Al, ch 1, 3

I don’t recall him being very religious.  I think part of it had to do with his service in Korea, and being wounded there.  Aside from just being my hero, he also was a Hero to our nation, with a Silver Star with palms awarded to him.  (I do not know the circumstances, but it is an Item I hope to learn some day. He didn’t like discussing it.)  The feeling I get was that he was spiritual, and he kept his beliefs within him and they seemed to serve him well.  He wasn’t a Thelemite, nor do I think he would have found the path fulfilling in his life.  I think that he was happy to let others follow their paths and that he was happy on his, and that is really what is important.

I think it is time I close, with excerpts from the collects for Death and the End of this incarnation from the Gnostic Mass.

Term of all that liveth, whose name is inscrutable, be favourable unto us in thine hour.

Love is the law, love under will.

Tarot Spreads, Meditation and Scrying with Frater Ausharrenwille

Participants will reinforce symbolic attributions and practice readings in this hands-on workshop.

You will learn spreads and meditation techniques with the Tarot, as well as perform meditations and/or scrying on particular cards.

Bring a pillow, throw blanket and your favorite Tarot decks!

This is the beginning of a monthly series of exploring magick through the Tarot.

$5 donation for non-members.

1:30pm: Arrival/Social time

Doorkeeper will let people into the Cambridge Building between 1:30am & 1:55pm.

2pm: Tarot Class

William Blake Lodge

208 S Pulaski St.

Suite 5b

Baltimore, MD  21223

We are on the 5^th floor of the building.  Turn right when you get off of the elevator or the stairs and then turn left down the hallway.  We are the large marked door on the right.

We will have someone at the door at 1:30 until 1:55 to let people in, but if they are not there you can call 240-291-6547 to be let in.

Google Maps Link For Directions:  http://sn.im/3nvxd – William Blake Lodge   [maps_google_com]

Tarot Spreads, Meditation and Scrying with Frater Ausharrenwille

Participants will reinforce symbolic attributions and practice readings in this hands-on workshop.

You will learn spreads and meditation techniques with the Tarot, as well as perform meditations and/or scrying on particular cards.

Bring a pillow, throw blanket and your favorite Tarot decks!

This is the beginning of a monthly series of exploring magick through the Tarot.

$5 donation for non-members.

1:30pm: Arrival/Social time

Doorkeeper will let people into the Cambridge Building between 1:30pm & 1:55pm.

2pm: Tarot Class

William Blake Lodge

208 S Pulaski St.

Suite 5b

Baltimore, MD  21223

We are on the 5^th floor of the building.  Turn right when you get off of the elevator or the stairs and then turn left down the hallway.  We are the large marked door on the right.

We will have someone at the door at 1:30 until 1:55 to let people in, but if they are not there you can call 240-291-6547 to be let in.

Google Maps Link For Directions:  http://sn.im/3nvxd – William Blake Lodge   [maps_google_com]

Warren Ellis has set up a forum for his fans and there is a significant Occult presence of the creative sort there.  (I suspect we are waiting for him to unleash the Arse Eels for fun and profit.)

ANYHOW  there is an all call for Artists and Writers for an (what appears to be) Online Magazine. 

You can find details here:  http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=5212&page=1#Item_4

If you stick around for more than that, please keep the forum rules in mind.  Otherwise: Arse Eels.

I am becoming a fan of Ed’s work  I picked up the most recent run of Criminal a while back and was hooked.  He can write tight story lines that have a lot of detail to discover even after multiple readings.

Ed has a new webisode based drama about a female assassin named Eve who’s life just gets more complicated with every episode.  She kicks a lot of ass and the production values are top notch.   Go check out Angel of Death

Hello folks, I am giving the first part of my Tarot Thumbscews (Extracting more from your Tarot readings) class at William Blake Lodge on Saturday, January 17th, 2009. 

Now
while I can listen to myself talk all day, I would love to have people
to talk to, since I tend to be my own Yes Man at times.  The cost is
only $5 for the general public, and free to William Blake Lodge members
who are dues current.

The class is going to be at William Blake Lodge at 208 Pulaski Street in Baltimore. (Click Here for directions)

Arrival time is 4:30PM and the class starts at 5:00PM sharp.  There will be a door person to
let folks into the building between 4:30 and 4:50, so please arrive
promptly.  The class is scheduled to run between two and three hours
and will cover as much of the material as we can.  (Don’t worry! There
will be Follow up classes!)

The Class description is as follows:

Tarot Thumbscrews 1: Extracting More from Your Tarot Readings
This introductory session discusses the mythology of the origins of the
Tarot, uses for the deck and some similarities between several decks
from the Ceremonial Magician’s perspective. Participants are encouraged
to bring their own decks to share and examine as we go along. This
class also discusses Cabbala, Astrology and other systems that can help
improve the information you get from your readings. This session also
discusses the Major Arcana (or Trumps,) with an eye for pulling out the
extra meanings hidden in the cards. Participants are encouraged to
bring their own decks to share and examine as we go along. Our primary
Focus will be the Rider-Waite and Thoth Decks, but others can be
discussed if they are present. This series should be useful for readers
of all skill levels.