I had someone attest to me recently that they were just "existing" and had stopped "living".  It breaks my heart to hear people say that.  It means that they are missing their passion and the bits of wonder that make being here worthwhile.  I suspect that there was some hyperbole in the statement, but the fact that they would consider the statement to be true in any form is somewhat sad to me.  If nothing else life is a gift, our current existence is what it is and it's the only go that we get in this format.
 
I haven't really spoke/written about my mother passing away in February, as she died kind of suddenly and in frankly a rather sad way.  It forced me to once again turn to Liber AL and Liber XV, (The Collects in particular,) and it once again helped me get a better grasp of life and death.  My thoughts brought me around to the folowing thoughts.
 
1) We are just meat.  (Meaning the body, not the animating force.)
2) The animating force (The soul, the Yechida/Chayah/Neshamah/Ruach/Nefesh apparatus, consciousness,) is akin to electricity.
3) within the meat there are pathways and motors and processors, much like circuits in a computer
4) When the animating force is applied to the meat it behaves a certain way.  Much like a circuit behaves when electricity is applied to it.
5) The meat-circuit is unique to each individual, the Animating force is te constant.
6) when the meat-circuit fails, the individual is gone, as the animating force returns to its origin and the attributes of the individual cease to exist. (ie. the personality is gone, but the inner light remains.)
 
So why does it make me sad that someone is "just existing"?  Because the individual is the only one that will exist with that circuit.  It means they have given up on the Great Work and are waiting for their body to fail and the unique attributes are going to be lost for all time, without completing their portion of the task. (Whatever their Will is.)  Perhaps I think that while you don't have to always be doing something, you should at least be *living* and making the world better by enjoying life, in whatever form you can, for it will be over soon enough. 
 
I'm not waiting to die, more like living to do so.  When my number is up, it's up; but there better damn well be some interesting stories somewhere.

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